Liking To Be Liked

Sarah McVanel:

Suzie81Speaks’ post on the strength of self-acceptance…

Originally posted on Suzie81 Speaks:

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When I was in my teens, I shared a lot of mutual friends with a girl that attended the same sixth form college as me, and consequently we seemed to spend a lot of time around each other. This would have been fine, other than the fact that she really disliked me. It bothered me and I would go out of my way to talk to her, try and make her laugh and do little things that I thought might please her. It didn’t work – she continued to be cold and distant when she was around me and remained that way until we finished our courses and left. I haven’t seen or heard from her since. Looking back, I can’t believe I wasted so much time and effort – I didn’t actually like her that much to begin with…

The simple fact is that we all like to be liked…

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The strength of sisterhood…

I hadn’t really thought of “sisterhood” as a strength until very recently. However, I have absolutely no doubt it is now. Quick story as to why.

I wrote a column about my experience with postpartum depression (PDD) for the monthly column I write for a local paper. The experience of having PDD taught me a lot about myself, most importantly courage - how I got through it, acknowledged it, talked about it and most recently wrote about it publicly. Although some initial reaction was jaded (ignorant comments to my column), overall the response was amazing. Other women found their courage to share their story with me one-on-one, most for the first time ever, that they too had suffered with PDD. Some wanted to find a voice for their experience, and weren’t sure how (writing newspapers columns isn’t for everyone!)

So, what to do? Turn to like-minded sisters to explore possibilities.

Fast forward a few weeks. Met with some amazing women who have begun a postpartum depression support line in my community available to women across Ontario. It was a gap, and their charity was bound and determined to fill it, despite an uphill battle. Again, enter stage left courage.

What if we invited other women to share their stories with PDD too? How might it help them through their experience or in their recovery process? Might it bring some sense of peace during the experience or closure to a very difficult time in their lives? Could we use the proceeds of this book to fund this support line to ensure women going through PDD will have this important resource for years to come? Unanimous yes, yes, yes around the table. Next steps? Rally the sisters.

The sisterhood grows.

PPD Book Editorial Team Kim McArthur, Tracy Woodford, Sarah McVanel, Sharon Brooks, Marsha Skrypuch, Heather Wilson and Jacklyn Brooks (missing Monica Pierce)

PPD Book Editorial Team Kim McArthur, Tracy Woodford, Sarah McVanel, Sharon Brooks, Marsha Skrypuch, Heather Wilson and Jacklyn Brooks (missing Monica Pierce)

The Executive Director of this charity – Sharon – leveraged her strength of relationship-building to bring on board a diverse group of women she had built ties with over the years. The first meeting was nothing but electric! Full commitment within one hour by a publisher, award-winning author, dedicated student, decorated equestrian and community advocate, director of an educational institution, expert in PDD and of course Sharon and I. We were going to make this book happen, and fast!

The sisterhood grows momentum.

Within one month, there is an electronic submission form on the charity’s website, we hosted a press conference where all the local press show up (one article for example), have full endorsement and support by all levels of government, and local businesses already donating goods for the launch. Within days, we have five stories submitted, with a week more come in from many continents (talk about the international power of women!)

By start with the intention of bringing insight, healing, kindness and a sense of community to a new project, amazing creativity and commitment naturally followed. PDD is tough topic, sometimes with tragic consequences or at minimum with emotional scars, so we thought this might be a tough sell. But we realized quickly that women simply needed the mechanism to commit their strengths to an important project - from sharing a story to spreading the word to editing the book, By leveraging the bond of sisterhood, collectively we can leave the world a better place.

So, have you got your sisterhood on lately?

Awkward! What not to do when starting a blog (and a few things that worked too)

I’ve been a veteran blogger for four months now, so thought I’d share what I’ve learned about blogging. It won’t be rock science, but might be helpful all the same…

1. Watch some YouTube videos on how to blog

I’m a Gex X…why do I keep forgetting that? I can’t figure out technology sans help. It would have saved a lot of frustration and hours (not to mention a few grey hairs) if I had started by researching how to use this foreign technology. If only I had watched an hour of YouTube videos first (after all, I ended up having to anyway!)

2. Not gotten so caught up in the “shiny” things about blogs

Sure, deciding whether to buy a theme or not to buy a theme is super important in the grand scheme of things, not to mention which colour palette to choose, but probably less so than the content. I think I changed the “look” of my blog about a dozen times in the first two weeks. I am pretty sure no one was more drawn to my blog because of my final selection (in fact, I can tell you from the stats they were definitely not drawn to a blog with only one post and a rapidly changing “look”). And don’t look at my blog with that “I-don’t-know-what-all-the-fuss-was-about-it-looks-pretty-plain-to-me” expression!

3. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No seriously, don’t take yourself too seriously…

Like the colour, I wanted to pick the “perfect” title and caption. Picking your URL and title is important, granted, because it’s hard to change the URL and switching your title can be confusing to followers. However, if I had to do it all over again, I would have thought of something creative, fun and inviting for my title and caption. My blog’s title is kinda serious. It’s also exactly what I want to talk about. So, I guess finding the balance requires time to sit back and think about how to best capture that balance. Unless you’re an uber serious person with an intense topic, how can your blog’s title be both accurate and fun?  Kinda like these:

Image4. Use titles that catch search engine’s attention

When people are doing a Google search, you likely want them to stumble upon your site. If you’re trying to be overly witty or unique, there’s a good chance the only people who will catch onto your blog are those who follow you already (your blog or other social media you use to promote it). Although I don’t really like the “4 Things that didn’t work…” sorta person, I thought I better figure out how to make it work if I was going to invest the time into blogging! No point in having a blog that no ones reads (otherwise I’d just talk to myself and save myself the carpal tunnel!)

 

And more importantly, the things I’d do again…

1. Write a bunch of content when I had time

Life gets busy and some weeks I barely have time or energy to write. Other times I get really excited about a topic, the writing comes easily and I seem to have more time (such as if the kids and hubby go up north). Keeping draft content ready to publish means you can always have something on the ready to just click “post” and it seems like you’re writing all the time!

2. Invite guest bloggers to share their wisdom

I think other people are way more interesting to learn from, and the wisdom of many is superior to the wisdom of one. I started asking other strengths-based leaders to answer questions that I’d find interesting and guess what? Others found their responses interesting too! Who knew that interesting people would have cool things to say?!

3. Leverage social media to promote every blog post

I get more traffic on days I promote my blog through LinkedIn Groups, Twitter and Facebook than on days I don’t. Don’t believe me? You can see the stats of what people are reading, on what days, and how they accessed your content. Plus, it makes all those people in high school that made fun of you think you’re super smart posting brilliant things all the time! Seriously though, make sense a social media tool would be best supported by another social media tool, so connect them for heaven’s sake!

 

Best advice (not that you asked) is have fun with it! It’s an extension of you – your interests, life experience and strengths, so be true to yourself and let it reflect the real you! The more you can do these things, the longer you’ll stay with your blog!